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Mind the Gap!
Please do not feed sugar cubes to the rats on the subway. It causes them to smoke and play loud music.If you step into the gap, you will be sucked quickly to Hell while the grey-faced people look on....
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A story of bladders, pee, and an errant strawberry
Last week, I had surgery on my innards! Most specifically on an organ that I shall call my blah-dére. Which had gone askew, drifted free of its moorings, and was eventually (maybe when I hit the age of...
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7x7 Link Award (plus 7 lies!)
Lisa Ann, our fabulous resident animal trainer (and writer who recently secured an agent for her book, Below the Surface!) has kindly bequeathed to me the 7 x 7 link award. If you need a dolphin...
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Toffee and Brittle Confections of Sheer Unrivaled Deliciousness
Friends! Do you like sweets? Yes, you do. You crave the deliciousness of sugary treats. You defy your dentist at every opportunity! You like to fill your pockets with smackerels of goodness and...
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Fun With Anagrams
I've been playing with the Internet Anagram Server and thought "ain't words just magic things?" So I typed some of your blog names into the thing and this is what I got. Can you find yours on the list?...
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My Holiday Catalogue: Gifts That Will Inspire Ire, Spittle, and Occasional...
It's a star. On top of a tree. This is why it qualifies for "Inventor's Corner." Because it's a star. On top of a tree! (They trademarked "menorahment" so don't you try to borrow it.)This guy's...
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Scary as Shit Children's Book Illustrations (Part 1)
For Christmas, Santa has brought you menacing stuffies with blood-red eyes. Plus, they are infested with rodents."Hello Jibboo! Have we met before in another creepy, dark alley? Why do you peck me in...
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Book Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA!
I have picked zee winners out of my magical randomizing hat! And they are:1. Jennifer of Serendipity's Library!2. Angela Cook!3. Stacey!4. Lisa Ann!I will divide the book into neat mathematical...
View ArticleIt Ain't Bad to Get Mad!
My kids have a doll called "The Elf on the Shelf," which was a gift from last year's holiday season. It sits on a shelf or perches on top of the fridge or dangles from a light fixture during the day,...
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Eldest Son Unleashes the F-Bomb (and the Kraken!)
Eldest Son (age 8) is enrolled in a special creative writing workshop at his school, which meets on Fridays. When I arrived home tonight he told me he had completed his short story for the week, and...
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Book Giveaway and Launch Party: Catherine Stine's FIRESEED ONE!
Fellow blogger extraordinaire, Catherine Stine, has just released her new YA thriller, Fireseed One. In celebration of her launch, I am hosting a book giveaway here. Visit Catherine's blog today for...
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Blah! Gah! Wards!
I have recently been gifted with two lovely awards from two lovely blog friends that I have been late to pass on to other worthy souls. Here is the first, "The Lindsay."Your blog went to rehab multiple...
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The 2012 Apocalypse: A Fragrant Love Story (with exclusive film stills!)
As the Giant Ball of Destructive Space Cheese hurtles toward their home, Sadie "Screwgun" Pickens and Miz Ida Lumplett make their peace with their Lord. "I always knew the pocka-lips would come in...
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Strange Things I Have Photographed in the Suburbs
In my work as an amateur naturalist, I continue to catalogue the oddities of that savage land known as Suburbia. Here is my latest collection of photographs snapped in the wilds of Southern...
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Scary High School Textbooks From the 1960s
A smattering of the academic fare that was discovered in my attic. (The former owner of the home being a parochial school administrator.) There are many of these books. Here are some of the more...
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Subliminal Messages Behind Common Valentine's Day Gifts
Today this blog is lucky enough to welcome renowned psychiatrist Dr. Q. P. Turnipseed, an expert in human behavior and motivation whose various works include Why You Can't Stop Piddling in Your Shorts,...
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10 Advertising Taglines for Things That Don't Need Taglines
IceIt's a lot like water, except frozen. ™MosquitosGod made 'em, you sprayed 'em. ™MorningWhat comes around, goes around. You lazy shit. ™TeethWithout them, you would look like that old feller on the...
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Bear Attack!
The most horrifying feature of the photo below is (choose one):A. The lust for snacks on the bear's awful visageB. The apparent terror in the child's postureC. The unwillingness of the photographer to...
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